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My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors

(Dave)
Well you should see my story reading baby, you should hear the things that she says,
She says "Hon, drop dead, I'd rather go to bed with Gabriel Garcia Marquez."

(Mike in funny voice)
Uhh-huh!

(Dave)
Cuddle up with William S. Burrows, leave on the light for Bell Hooks,
I've been flirtin' with Pierre Burton 'cause he's so smart in his books

(All)
I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
My heart's so broke and bleedin'
(Dave)
Baby's just sitting there
(Murray)
doing some reading

(Dave)
So I started watching some TV, played my new cd player too,
She said: "Turn it off or I'll call the cops and I'll throw the book at you."
All this arguing made me get dizzy, called my doctor to come have a look
I said: "Doctor hurry!" He said:
(Murray)
"Don't worry, I'll be over when I finish my book"

(All)
I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
We've been livin in hovels
(Dave)
Spendin' all our money on
(Murray)
brand new novels

(Dave)
So I got myself on a streetcar and it drove right into someone,
You know the driver said:

(Jian in grizzly voice)
"I was lookin' straight ahead!"

(Dave)
But he was reading the Toronto Sun

(Jian)
"So?"

(Dave)
So my honey and me go to a counsellor to help figure out what we need
She said: "We'll get your love growing,

(Mike, in funny Dr. Ruth voice)
but before we get going, here's some books I'd like you to read."

(All)
I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
Lately we've had some fricton
(Dave)
'Cause my baby's hooked on
(Murray)
short works of fiction

(Dave)
So we split and went to a party, some friends my girl said she knew
But what a sight 'cause it's authors night and the place looks like a who's who

(Dave)
Now I'm pounding the ouzo

(rest)
with Mario Puzo

(Dave)
Who's a funny fella?

(rest)
W.P. Kinsella

(Dave)
Who brought the cat?

(rest)
Would Margeret Atwood?

(Dave)
Who needs a shave?

(rest)
He's Robertson Davies!

(Dave)
Ondaatje started a food fight, salmon mousse all over the scene

(All)
Spilled some dressing on Doris Lessing, these writer types are a scream!

(All)
I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
We'll be together for ages
(Dave)
Eatin' and Sleepin' and
(Jian in grizzly voice)
Eatin' and Sleepin' and
(Mike in funny Dr. Ruth voice)
Eating und Sleeping und
(Murray)
Turnin' pages.

(All)
Yeah!


From the Liner:
(Mike-vocals; Murray-vocals, bass, spring muffler; Jean-vocals, sheet metal, snare; Dave-lead vocal, guitar)